


Starting Over

by BenedictCumberlandAccent, CelticHeartedFanfic, RumbelleEvents, thecompletebookworm



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, FINISH THIS 2018, Finish this, GROUP ORANGE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 01:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenedictCumberlandAccent/pseuds/BenedictCumberlandAccent, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticHeartedFanfic/pseuds/CelticHeartedFanfic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RumbelleEvents/pseuds/RumbelleEvents, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecompletebookworm/pseuds/thecompletebookworm
Summary: Season 6 AU where Gideon is not returned to infant status in the finale. Two months after the final battle is over, Belle is shocked to discover she is pregnant. Belle worries about how to break the news to Rumplestiltskin and the fragile, moody 28 year-old son they are struggling to connect with.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ALL FICS RATED M FOR SAFETY.
> 
> Chapter 1 writer: @thedarkcheessmaster  
> PROMPT: DREAM

Everyone has dreams.

Back when she was young and innocent, ignorant to the true evil of the world, Belle had dreamed of adventure, heroism, and a destiny controlled only for her, and even though she wouldn’t mention it to no one, not even her own father, Belle also dreamed of a family, a husband, a baby. A love brighter than the sun and deeper than the ocean. But that dream along with the others was gone when she made that deal with the Dark One. That day Belle had been sure that the possibility of a loving family was destroyed when she sacrificed her life for her country and in her mind it had been worthy. She would have to make it do with the adventure of becoming a maid to one of the most dangerous sorcerer of the Enchanted Forest and the heroism of having saved Avonlea of the same evil she had helped, however unwilling, to unleash.

Back on the first days of her stay in the Dark Castle she had dreamed of seeing her papa and her friends again. And waking up from that dream in that cold cell that was dubbed ‘her room’ had destroyed her resolve about suffering her imprisonment in silence, driven her to tears night after night.

But then she discovered the man behind the beast, she discovered that a loving heart still beat in the deeps of the Dark One’s chest. And slowly, bit by bit she started to dream about love.

And now, over thirty years after she started to dream about love again those dreams had become a reality. She had married her True Love and was helping her son to become the best version of himself. It hadn’t been easy and so many times she had wondered if she hadn’t been stupid trying to keep her faith that her dreams would become true. But that had made this moments sweeter, knowing that even after all the bad decisions and the wrong turns their lives had taken, love had beat it all. They had faced the dragon and they had come victorious.

Many things hadn’t been as she had dreamed; life is not a fairy tale no matter what Henry said, but many things had been better than her wildest dreams.

Certainly she still dreamed of holding her baby in her arms and nursing him, taking care of him in the middle of the night, hearing his small whimpers, and seeing Rumple sang that lullaby to calm him. But she couldn’t complain her son was there with her, safe and sound.

If her only problem was that she couldn’t reach her son forehead even if she was wearing her favorite and tallest heels, she really didn’t have room for complains, only for happiness.

Gideon was adapting better than her to this world, of course he had the memories the Black Fairy Curse gave him to help him navigate the puzzle and wonders of this world. He looks like a mini-Rumple, only way bigger. All handsome in his three piece suits, trying to compensate 28 years of missed hugs and family dinners.

She was afraid that day in the dark realm, so afraid they would be too late to save him. But they manage to stop him just in the nick of time, saving his soul and his life. After Rumple had put his heart on his rightful place, the correct heart this time around, Gideon had started crying asking forgiveness for sins that weren’t his. She and Rumple had cried too, for the mistakes they had committed, and for the chances almost missed because of them.

Afterwards they had gone home to live their happy beginning. It wasn’t a happy ending because nothing was ending; it was the beginning of their family.

And then the symptoms stared.

At first it was easy to ignore the symptoms or to blame them in the fact that her body had lived 6 months of pregnancy in less than 6 hours. Even if the fairies had used magic to speed up her recovery after her impromptu delivery, there must be some consequences and remnants.

It was easy to justify that her breast filled tender. Or that her waist wasn’t as narrow as before, it had been less than a month she hadn’t lost all of the baby fat, it wasn’t the end of world if she needed loser clothes.

But then the sickness came, every morning and afternoon, to the point that Rumple and Gideon became concerned about her health. Insisting that she let them examined her or in the worst case went to see a doctor. But she couldn’t let them, she was terrified of what they could discover.

Lying to herself to ignore a truth that could kill her.

So that chilled Monday morning, using all of the ignored skills of her time as Lacey she stole a pregnancy test from the pharmacy, not wanting anyone to know anything if her suspicions were false. And now she was locked in the bathroom of the library looking at the clock waiting for the moment were she would now what was happening with her body.

40 seconds more and all of this absurd idea would be gone.

Two blue lines.

She was pregnant.

The dream of a baby that she had buried deep in her heart came back. And she felt conflicted, confused, euphoric, and guilty.

This was impossible. This couldn’t be happening.

After the final battle, she and rumple had been busy, but not ‘that’ kind of busy. They had to help Gideon to adapt to this new word and the strangeness of having two set of memories in your head. There was little time to intimacy and they were taking things slow, mindful of the new inhabitant of the pink Victorian.

She tried to find if there was something about this in the library and after three hours digging in the book about pregnancy and anatomy she came across the topic of multiple pregnancies.

Apparently it was possible to become pregnant while being pregnant; it was the base point of not identical twins.

Two eggs fertilized at different moments and developing in the same uterus, each one with their own placenta, completely independent of the other. They could be conceived in different days and by different fathers even.

That belied the phrase “I cannot get more pregnant”. Oh God! This was crazy…

Not that she had an explanation she could stop thinking. And everything felt in place.

She should have been pregnant with twins since the beginning, and only Gideon was affected by the dust when the evil queen dosed her tea.

Leaving his sibling alone.

And in that moment she started to hyperventilate…

In her fear, she had refused going to the hospital for her labor, she had gone to the nunnery with a fairy as a midwife! A fairy! Fairies didn’t have babies! How could one be a midwife!

It was a miracle the other baby was still alive, so little having to suffer through the birth of his sibling without a though spared for them! She was going to be sick! Ugh! Even the spell that had speeded her recovery, the one she was so grateful for, could have killed her baby!

She cried, laughing at the same time, she was pregnant, PREGNANT! How she was going to tell this to Rumple? And Gideon? How would he feel? Angry, sad, betrayed, replaced?

She felt her belly thinking of the little one. What if something happened? Again? The past days had proved that Storybrooke wasn’t the safest of places to be pregnant. What if a new villain appeared? What if another of Rumple’s enemies came?

Was she ready to be a mother so soon after everything that happen with Gideon?

Was Rumple ready? That seemed like a stupid question. Even if Rumple didn’t feel ready he would love that child like life itself. The child would become his sun and he would try to be the best father he could. The father he was.

Would Gideon be okay with this?

What would they do if he wasn’t?

What if this would make them lose her son?

What if he wasn’t okay with this but he said it was fine only to avoid upsetting them?

How should she handle this?

What should she do?

She patted her belly once more. Even amidst all those doubts there was only one truth written on stone. Whatever happened they could face it together.

And that give her strength to face the future.

After cleaning the tears of her face and reshelving the books she had used, she left the library going to the pawnshop. She had some new to share with her family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter writer @thecompletebookworm  
> PROMPT: TIME
> 
> A/N: I actually haven't watched the show since somewhere in Season 4. I've attempted to get up to date with the Gideon/ Season 6 things, but it is after all, only a week when I have a job that's driving me crazy. I apologize if I messed up something crucial, but I guess we're already in AU zone since Gideon was successfully saved and we have this potential angst with a side of fluff and babies, so what's a little more AU. Basically what I'm saying is when I'm wrong about something in canon, please don't hate me.   
> Trigger Warning: Description of Panic Attack (To avoid skip part after “Whatever it is we can fix it” to section break.)

The walk from the library to the pawnshop had never felt longer.   Even in her worry, Belle couldn't help but smile at the Gold and Son sign.  It may have come from the Black Fairy's curse, but there was still something touching about the names together on the sign, her boys working together. 

She pushed the door open trying to force a smile on her face. 

"Mother!"  Her son was the first one forward, his head darting up from his work as soon as the bell on the front door chimed.  "Mother! I thought we weren't going to see you until lunch.  Is something wrong?" 

Gideon rushed over, hands already ready to support her if necessary but waiting until she gave her permission.  Gideon craved physical contact but was seldom willing to ask for it.  It was a reflex that she and Rumple were still working on, but it would take a lot more than freely given hugs and kisses to get over twenty eight years of neglect and abuse.   

"I'm fine."  The words felt small and untrue, but she pulled her sons arms around her anyway, allowing herself to lean back into his tall frame.  She felt him relax and it gave her courage.  Gideon didn't hate her.  Not yet at least.  Things with this baby would be fine.  They would just take time.  

Time she wasn't sure she had if she was honest with herself.  She saw the worry in Rumplestiltskin's eyes, even if he tried to hide it. Belle wasn't sure if knowing the truth would actually help his worry, or if the addition of a fourth family member would send him over the edge. 

Still she knew she couldn't keep the news a secret for long.   It had been four hours at most since she found out about the baby and already she wasn't acting like herself.  She had practically fled the library, leaving it unmanned and unlocked.  It had been practically a miracle she'd remembered to grab a coat, but she supposed that was in part because keeping herself healthy had never seemed more important.   

"Is it so wrong for me to miss my family in the middle of the day?"  She gave Gideon a kiss on the cheek.  

While she knew the baby couldn’t be a secret for long, seeing their faces made her realize she couldn't do this right now.  She just needed a few moments, a little more time to center herself, to let herself get used to the idea of a baby. 

It wasn't that the child wasn't wanted.   Gods no.  She already loved this baby with every ounce of her being.  It was just unexpected and with life in Storybrooke already so up in the air it felt like too much to handle, more than she felt she could handle.  

She hadn't realized she had started to cry before she felt her husband's hand wiping away the tears. 

"Sweetheart, Everything is going to be okay.  Whatever it is we can fix this."  

Somehow that only made her cry harder.  She couldn't even look at either of them anymore.   Her entire body felt like it was out of her control now.  She was shaking and she couldn’t breathe.  Was

"Gideon help me get her to the cot in back"

Belle could hear them moving her, could feel her son’s hands around her, but she didn't feel like she was present any more.  It was like they were doing it to someone else someone who didn't have earthshattering news for their family. 

A million questions ran through her head as she tried to focus on actually getting some air.   Maybe her inability to breathe wasn't coming from anxiety and something was actually was wrong with her.  Was this the unspoken cost of the magic necessary to speed things along? Was her body betraying the baby right now?  Hurting them instead of providing of safe shelter?

The questions racing through her head at a million miles a minute were only silenced by everything slowly fading to back. 

* * *

 

She felt the hand first.  A steady rhythm going through her hair, somehow anchoring her.  Next she felt her head lying in the lap of her husband. 

"Sweetheart?"  His voice was so unsure; his eyes brimming with unshed tears. 

Belle forced herself into a sitting position and tried to look around. "Where's Gideon?" 

Gentle hands pulled her back down onto his lap, before resuming their slow dance through her hair.   "He's fine.   I sent him to get Doctor Whale." 

"No!"  The word escaped her before she realized she said it.  

Rumplestiltskin looked affronted.  "Belle, we're worried.  We're both terrified something is wrong.  You haven't been yourself lately.  You’re tired all the time and your stomach isn’t even tempted by Granny’s hamburgers.  You need to let us help you."  

When said like that, any hope of keeping the pregnancy to herself or just between Rumplestiltskin and her died. 

"I'm scared." The words were barely audible in the quiet shop. 

The hand paused in her hair.    “Belle, even after all this time, you are the bravest, most remarkable person I know.  It’s okay to be scared, but you have to face the problem.  You taught me that.” 

His eyes were so earnest and pleading.  They had agreed on no more secrets and she couldn’t resist anymore.  

“I’m pregnant.”

She studied his face as the emotions flooded across it.  His worry changed to confusion and then to love and wonder.  

Rumplestiltskin placed a hand against her still flat stomach, as if he could feel the babe growing in it already.   Then he leaned forward to capture her lips in a kiss that was practically reverent.  

“That’s wonderful.  But how?”   He bashfully avoided meeting her eyes.  Obviously he knew how.  He’d always been an enthusiastic participant.  But she knew what he meant.   They hadn’t exactly been in a bedroom state of mind recently.  Between helping Gideon and rebuilding the trust in their relationship, it never felt like the right time.  Plus the pain that had still lingered from an expedited birth could certainly put a damper on even the most romantic of intentions.  

“That was my first thought too.” She whispered.  Belle tried not to focus on the hand ghosting over her abdomen making this feel real.   “I looked in the library-“ 

“Naturally,” Rumplestiltskin chuckled before pressing kisses into her hairline.  

She hummed in pleasure at his actions.  It was easy to forget she had ever been worried when he seemed so ready to shower her and the baby with affection.  Of course, the bigger and more unpredictable challenge was still to come.  

“And I think the Evil Queen didn’t use enough magic to speed up my pregnancy.” 

She felt Rumplestiltskin tense beneath her at the memory of the terrible time, of how he missed his second sons birth, of how she wouldn’t even tell him Gideon’s name, of the blatant fear on her face.  

Belle hurried on with her explanation trying to keep them in the present.  “If you’re having fraternal twins, you need more magic.  Of course I don’t know much about magic, but that seems to be about right, I mean larger cost and all.”  She was babbling, but really couldn’t stop herself.  It felt easier if she got it all out at once.   

“And maybe I shouldn’t even be calling them fraternal twins, it could be super-, superf-” She should have brought her notes from the library, because even as she tried to explain it was like her mind was blank.   

“Sweetheart,” He grabbed her hand, trying to keep herself from getting too worked up again.  “You’re not doing this alone anymore.  We can figure this out together.”  

“So you’re not mad?”  Even though Rumplestiltskin seemed excited, she couldn’t help but ask.  She needed to. 

She knew this pregnancy dragged up so many regrets and fears.  If there had been no Black Fairy, no Evil Queen, they would have had two lovely children, with the language of twins all their own.  They would have decorated a nursery and switched out the cribs for bunk beds eventually.  There would have been laughter as their house was made the castle or pirate ship or dragon’s den for countless playtimes.   But that was a time stolen from them, an illusion that she needed to give up on to give both her children an opportunity to be themselves and not her silly idolized version of them.  

Rumplestiltskin’s arms tightened around her.    “I could never be mad about this.   Having a family with you was all I ever wanted.” 

There was so much sadness laced in those words.   So many memories of the times she’d doubted that, of times when his quest for power to protect that dream sabotaged it. 

Belle began to fiddle with her wedding ring to give herself something to focus on. 

“I just don’t know how to tell him.  Without you I’d certainly mess up telling Gideon I was pregnant.”   

There was a crash behind them and Belle lifted herself off Rumplestiltskin’s lap to see the source of the commotion.   

Gideon was staring blankly at them, a tea tray smashed on the floor in front of him.   

“Pregnant?”  His voice was shaking. 

Belle tried to pull her son into an embrace, to hold him as they sorted things out, but he pulled away from her. 

“No!  This can’t be happening now! You said you would help me! You said you’d help me free the children still stuck in the Dark Realm!” 

Every word felt like a stab.   She knew things wouldn’t go well, but she thought it would be her son’s insecurity in his place in this family that caused all the problems not his desire to be a hero that was so much like hers.   

“Gideon! Wait!”  Her shouts were only greeted by the slam of the shop’s front door.

She turned to look back at Rumplestiltskin, who staring at his cane intently seemed much calmer than he had any right to be.  

Belle tried to pull him off the cot to help her chase down their son, but he merely waved a hand and repaired the tea set Gideon had dropped. 

“What are you doing? We have to go after him!”

He gave her a weak smile.  “No, sweetheart, that would only be chasing him away.”  

Belle reluctantly sat down on the bed next to him, leaning into him as if she could absorb all his calm and parental knowledge.

“He needs time to come to terms with it.”  Rumplestiltskin squeezed her hand.   “I think we all do.  We just have to remember.  This isn’t like last time.”  

Even as he said it, Belle heard the slight waver in his voice that meant Rumplestiltskin was trying to convince himself as well. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter writer: @celticheartedfangirl
> 
> PROMPT: DEATH

“Sweetheart, you need to eat something,” Rumpelstiltskin said as they sat in their dining room at home.  After waiting at the shop for about an hour, they decided to return to the house and have something to eat.  Belle sat at the table picking at her food, barely taking a bite.

“I’m not hungry,” Belle replied. 

“He’ll come home.  I left a note at the shop, he knows we came back here.”  Belle set down her fork and looked up at her husband.

“How is he ever going to be a normal young man, Rumple?  How?  After everything he’s been through.  He doesn’t know how to – how to have any kind of normal, adult relationship.  Rumple, he’s a child in the body of a grown man and that’s all my fault.” 

“Belle, there’s plenty of blame to go around between both of us.” 

“Rumple, be honest with me – do you really think that this is something Gideon can overcome?  Being raised by that – that horrible woman.”  Rumpelstiltskin looked down and sighed.  Belle reached out across the table and took his hand.  “I’m sorry, I – I know she was your mother but –”

“She was the woman who birthed me.  I don’t have a mother.  Or a father.  I never did.  But our child – our child will have both.”

“It’s just not fair to him.  This child will have everything Gideon should have had.”  Belle paused for a moment.  “Rumple, what about those children?  The ones in the Dark Realm?  Can we help them?”

“Belle, I – I don’t know how to tell Gideon this, but – when we stopped the Black Fairy, those children, they – Belle, her realm is gone.  And so are they.  I have no idea what happened to them, and finding them would be a futile task.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Gideon asked, speaking up from behind.  Belle immediately jumped out of her chair and ran to him. 

“Gideon!  Oh, we were so worried for you.  Come on, have some dinner.”  Gideon gently pushed his mother aside and sat down at the table with his father.

“Papa – is what you said true?”

“I’m afraid it is, son.  I’m sorry.  I thought perhaps there would be a way to help, but – I’ve looked into it and – there isn’t.” 

“You mean they – they’re all dead?” Gideon asked.

“I don’t know.  I’m very sorry son, but – most likely – yes.” 

Gideon began to cry, and his father pulled the young man into a hug. “Maybe they’re not.  Maybe – maybe they went back to their rightful homes.”  Gideon stammered.

“That’s a nice thought.  It’s the best we can hope for.  Gideon, without their blood and belongings there’s no way to trace them or know their fate.  I’m very sorry.”  

“Gideon, please have some dinner,” Belle said, setting a plate in front of her son.

“You need to finish yours too,” Rumpelstiltskin commented.  Gideon ate his dinner quietly and Belle finished hers as well. 

“So what do we do now?” Gideon asked after dinner was finished.

“We find a way to live our lives,” Belle said.

“Mother, how – how are you having a child so soon?  I don’t understand.”

“Gideon, this baby is – your twin.  Somehow when my pregnancy was accelerated – you were the only one affected.  We think it’s a fraternal twin, so – it could be a boy or a girl,” Belle told him.

“Gideon, your mother is going to be fine.  I’m going to arrange to have her seen by a doctor in Boston to make sure of it, I’ll make some calls tomorrow.”

“Boston?  Rumple, since when are we going to Boston?”

“Do you think I’m going to allow Dr. Frankenstein to give the sole medical opinion on the well being of a child that has already been through enough trauma in utero?  Is that really what you want, or would you prefer someone who was actually educated in this sort of thing in a non-magical realm?” 

“Papa, can I come too?” Gideon asked.  “I’d like to see Boston.” 

“Um – do I get a vote here?” Belle asked.

“Would you prefer New York?  Chicago?  I don’t care what city it is, but we are doing this.”  Belle sighed.

“I suppose you’re right.  Boston is fine with me.” 

…

“Well, everything looks fine, you’re about two months along,” the doctor said as she turned off the sonogram machine. 

“Good.  That’s good,” Rumpelstiltskin said as he held her hand.

“I knew everything would be fine, Mother,” Gideon agreed.  The doctor gave Gideon an odd look. 

“My – my son is very fond of his step-mother.  His mother left us when he was a baby and I didn’t – I didn’t really date much until I met Belle.  She’s really the only mother he’s known,” Rumpelstiltskin stated. 

“Okay,” the doctor said, a puzzled look remaining on her face.  “Anyhow – you need to schedule regular checkups for the next seven months, they’ll take care of all of that at the front desk.”

“Oh – we’re not –” Belle began.

“We haven’t gotten fully settled in Boston yet,” Rumpelstiltskin interrupted.  “As soon as we do, we’ll schedule those appointments.”

“Alright – well make sure you check in with your other doctor then.  I’ll leave your paperwork at the desk.”  The doctor left the room, and Belle sat up on the examination table. 

“Papa – why did you say she’s not my real mother?” Gideon asked. 

“Gideon – they don’t understand magic in this land.  You are – not possible.  It’s not possible for your mother to have a biological son your age.” 

“Oh,” Gideon replied, unsure of what to say.

“Gideon, can you please go wait for us in the waiting room?” Belle asked. 

“Yes, mother.” Gideon left the room, and Belle took off the gown they had given her and started to get dressed. 

“You know, I thought perhaps we could settle here – at least until the child is born – but I’m not sure that will be possible with Gideon,” Rumpelstiltskin said.

“Why not?” Belle asked.

“Belle, he – yes he’s adjusting to his new life but – he doesn’t understand this world.  He’s had no real schooling, no real parenting – I’m not even sure he could find a job, what is he qualified to do?” 

“Well, I – I can teach him.”

“It won’t be the same.  Belle, what kind of life is he meant to have?  He doesn’t know how to have even the most basic interpersonal relationship.”

“Neither do you,” Belle quipped.

“Very funny.  Belle, maybe it would have been better if I had changed him back.”

“To a baby?”

“Yes.  Give him a fresh start, let him be raised right.  Let him be raised with his brother or sister, like he was meant to.” 

“Rumple, don’t you dare do that to him.  You have no right, don’t you dare do that to our son.” 

“I didn’t say I would do it.  I just – I think it would have been easier.”

“For who?”

“All of us.”  As Rumpelstiltskin helped Belle finish getting dressed, Gideon stood outside the door, listening to every word.  He tried to stop himself from crying as he slunk out into the waiting room. 

…

Gideon was unusually quiet over the next several weeks.  He went to the shop with his father during the day, and Rumpelstiltskin proudly taught his son the inner workings of his shop.  In the evenings, his mother worked with him on projects similar to what he would have learned in school if he’d been given a chance for a proper education.  He was eager to keep pace with every task they gave him during this time, but limited his conversation with them.  It didn’t bother Belle and Rumpelstiltskin for the first few days after their return from Boston, but after several weeks they began to wonder what was upsetting their son so much that he had become a bit emotionally detached from them. 

“Gideon did well on his assignments this week,” Belle said as she and Rumpelstiltskin snuggled into bed.  “He’s almost at high school level in reading.  He’s so smart.” 

“Just like his mother,” Rumpelstiltskin replied.  “He’s doing well with the business too.  He seems to like numbers very well.  I think by next month he’ll be ready to take over all of the bookkeeping duties.”  They were quiet for a moment. 

“Why do you think he’s so detached?  Ever since we got back from Boston – it’s like he took ten steps forward in adapting but twenty backward in communicating with us.  I think we need to have a talk with him.” 

“Perhaps he’s just worried about you and the baby and doesn’t know what to do with that.  He’ll open up when he’s ready.”  Just as Rumpelstiltskin said that, a knock came upon their bedroom door.

“Mother?  Papa?  May I come in?” Gideon called out. 

“Yes of course Gideon, come in,” Belle replied.  Gideon entered the room as Rumpelstiltskin turned on the light. 

“Is there something wrong, son?” Rumpelstiltskin asked.

“I – I need to talk to you about something.  It’s something I’ve been thinking about since we got back home.”

“Come on Gideon, sit down,” Belle said, as she and Rumpelstiltskin sat up.  Gideon sat down on the edge of the bed next to Belle.

“I – I know things are going to be different soon, when the baby comes, and – I don’t want to make it any harder on you than it has to be.” 

“Gideon, what are you talking about?  You’re doing so well, you’re learning so many things, and you’re going to be such a big help to us when the baby comes,” Rumpelstiltskin said.

“Papa – I don’t want to be a help.  And I don’t want to be a burden.  I want to be your son.”

“Gideon – what are you saying?” Belle asked.

“When the baby comes – I want to go back.  I know that things have been getting better for all of us, but – it’s not enough.  I’m not sure it will ever be enough.  Papa – when the baby comes – I want to go back.  I want you to make me an infant again.  I want you to raise me with my brother or sister.  Can you do that, Papa?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter writer: @anotherhappybeginning  
> PROMPT: FAIRY
> 
>  
> 
> A/N Warning: Abuse/Torture, Heavily implied incest/rape, though nothing explicitly said. This is about the unscene stuff done to Gideon by the Black Fairy.

Rumpelstiltskin stared at his son, unable to find the right words. As a father, he was supposed to be there for his son, to keep him safe, protect him from evil, teach him, and watch him grow. He failed Baelfire in so many ways and was never allowed to make it up to him. Rumple tried so hard to get a second chance with Bae, and now he was dead. He lost Gideon to the Black Fairy, and now he was getting a second chance with Gideon. And Gideon wanted it to start over again.

Belle had shut down Rumple's idea of changing Gideon back, and Rumple realized how right she was. Now that's what Gideon wanted, so they should do that for him, right?

Could he really do that to his son? Really turn back the clock for him, erasing everything they been through. So Gideon would get a chance at happiness? So he could be raised alongside his sibling? So Rumple and Belle would get to raise him as their son?

Snow White and Prince Charming didn't get that opportunity, Maleficent or Geppetto didn't get the chance, and Rumple didn't get it to see Bae become a man. Should they get it?

Gideon chewed at his bottom lip, waiting for his father's answer. Gideon repeated himself, “Papa, can you do that? It would be so much easier, for all of us.”

Rumple and Belle shared a knowing glance, finally putting the pieces together. Whether or not Gideon wanted this, needed to start over, his father's words had an effect on him. This is what had him so quiet for weeks, why he seemed to be crawling back into his anti-social ways. Rumplestiltskin is the reason, the reason Gideon didn't want to continue as he was.

Belle saw her husband, the struggle he was feeling within, how conflicted he felt. She removed her hand from her stomach, carefully placing it on her husband's hand, squeezing it supportively.

“Gideon," Belle began, taking control of the situation, "This is a lot to ask of your father. I'm sure you've been thinking about this for a while, but this is something was all need to discuss, as a family."

"I don't want to discuss this. I want to start over," he told his mother, his voice cracking, "I don't want to remember. I don't want to be the Black Fairy's ward, who tried to kill the Savior, I don't want to be this version of me. I want to be raised by you, to grow up with my sibling, to be happy. I just want to be Gideon, your son."

"Gideon..."

Belle raised a hand slowly, carefully near his cheek, almost asking permission to touch. He always flinched at quick moments, which always pained Belle to see.

Her looking into his boy's eyes, as he accepted her touch, pressing his cheek to his mother's hand.

"Mother, do you understand?" Gideon asked, sounding so small, "Do you?"

She stared at her some for a long time, before finally saying, "I want to, Gideon, you need to know, you are always our son, no matter what."

As Gideon began to respond, Rumple finally found the courage to speak, asking his son;

“Is this because of what I said?” his voice was barely above a whisper.

"It wasn't just you Papa. Mothe-The Black Fairy, did so many things to me, made me do so many awful things. To others, with her, to her... I just want to forget."

Rumpelstiltskin looked away from his boy. He knew how it felt, wanting to forget it, to let it all go away.  He didn't want to remember losing Bae, Zelena kidnapping him, his father abandoning him, he wanted it to all go away.

His heart will never heal from the loss of his first son. Would doing that to Gideon feel the same?

Should he even get to do that? Be allowed to.

"Gideon," Rumple started, trying to find his words, "I know, it seems so easy to ignore your pain, to try to make it go away. But sometimes, it better that keep it, try to understand it. The best way to move past your pain is to accept it. I can't promise it will all go away. You'll begin to remember eventually, maybe have nightmares of your old life. We... we still have time to talk about all this,” he grabbed his wife's hand, “as a family.”

…

They took their time. Together. All of them.

Gideon told his parents about his time in the Dark Realm. All of it, down to the gruesome details. How the Black Fairy used her kidnapped children as slaves. How she was always testing Gideon, grooming him, making him her special pet. The cruelty he was given. How he didn't know there was such a thing as a good fairy (Rumple argued that was true, but Belle shushed him). How she killed Roderick in front of him.

“I think I loved him,” Gideon told him, “I wanted to, at least.”

Their talks usually ended in tears, from all of them.

Time passed slowly. The baby continued along, growing well. It was very bossy, making Belle nauseous, some days she spent all day in bed, with her boys taking care of her.

Rumplestiltskin took care of his loves, and kept up his shop. One of the Charming bunch would occasionally force him to “help” with their “important” situations. Once he got done with that work, he would get home to. Belle and Gideon, cooking then a meal, and reminding Belle how beautiful she is, with or without her pregnant belly.

Gideon continued with his lessons, and continued his weekdays working in the shop. Rumple and Belle made sure, even if he wanted to start over, to not stop continuing his learning. On weekends, he spent his time at the library, with his mother, reading for entertainment and for research on magic and fairies. Talking about his time with the Black Fairy reignited his desperation to find the good in the world, making his want to see the upside to fairies, and the beauty of light magic.

As the months to went on, even with their long, painful talks, they were able to make the best of everything. Gideon began to be more social again, sometimes being the most talkative one at their dinner's at Granny's. Belle and Rumple were as romantic as ever, though keeping it appropriate in front of their boy.

After months or their ridiculous arguing, their countless break-ups and separations, it was easy to see how wrong they both were. In hindsight, it was easy to see their mistakes, and They both missed each other dearly, but were too busy fighting to understand how much they were still longing for one another.

Gideon loved seeing his parents that way. He still felt guilt over his time under the Black Fairy, and how he helped keep his parents apart. He wasn't quite sure what happened in the Dream realm, as he wasn't truly sentient, but he knew he had told to stay apart, like the Black Fairy wanted him to do.

Their trips to the clinic in Boston became family visits to the city, going to museums, parks, getting a full taste of the city. Gideon still was an odd in out, in the Land Without Magic, but tried his best to understand this world as much as he tried to learn about the Enchanted Forest.

And finally months on, of a routine, of some type of normality, and it everything seemed to be looking up.

Then Belle was twenty-eight weeks along.

It all seemed fine, they were spending the evening in, the Gold family reading in the den. Belle sat on the couch, leaning against her husband while she read. Gideon sat on the floor, once more reading Her Handsome Hero, fidgeting as he did when he got to his favorite part.

Belle tried to focus on her book, but struggled to ignore her cramps in her lower belly. They had been bothering her all day, but she tried to not think anything of it. Her last check was only a week ago, and their baby was coming along well. Belle wanted the baby's gender to be a surprise, and decided against the reveal f it.

Belle winced a bit, the pain increasing below her waist. Rumple noticed her pain, giving her a worried look, but Belle silently shook it off, not wanting to worry him.

Gideon didn't seem to notice the voiceless conversation, putting down his book, looking up at his parents.

“Mother, Papa, I think I've made my decision, I really want to-” He stopped himself, realising his mother was in pain, “Mother, are you okay?”

Belle, nodded the pain making in difficult to speak.

“Belle, let me help,” Rumple panicked, “let me heal you or take you to the hospital, please-”

His thoughts couldn't be finished. As Belle began to topple over. As she fell, Gideon and his father were able to help her down, gently. They both instantly noticed the blood, stained on her dress and then couch.

It was much worse than they imagined. Belle let out a wail in pain.

Dimple, without thinking, poofed them to Storybrooke General.

It became a whirlwind of confusion, doctors and nurses, rushing Belle to a room, with her screams, with her blood, and Rumple and Gideon forced back into the waiting room.

Gideon stared blankly at the wall, deep in thought, worried for his mother and her child.

Rumplestiltskin made a silent prayer. He couldn't lose another child, he couldn't lose Belle again.

He begged for them to live.

Both of them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter writer; @mrs-stiltskin
> 
> PROMPT: SUCCESS
> 
> A/N: I know nothing of pregnancy or pregnancy complications, so please forgive any glaring errors or omissions. I am no expert and all research was done hastily on google to complete the story.

Placental abruption. Grade Two. Intermediate. Mother and child critical.

They were the most frightening words Rumplestiltskin could remember hearing in centuries, and they echoed in his ears like a death knell. How many times would his loved ones have to pay the price for his lifetimes of darkness? Hadn’t they suffered enough? He couldn’t lose them. As true as it was centuries ago, it was just as true now. If he lost his wife and child, he would truly, truly become dust.

Rumplestiltskin had managed to conjure all three of them to the Emergency Room of Storybrooke General, but everything after appearing near the admissions desk in a swirling cloud of purple smoke was hazy and insubstantial. It had taken both David Nolan and Emma Swan and a team of orderlies to restrain he and Gideon from rushing in to be with Belle. Let the doctors work, they’d said. There was still a chance, but the doctors needed room to work.

Did they know who the fuck Whale was, by all the gods?

The code was spoken in calm, clinical detachment over the hospital intercom and in moments, Whale and the others were a blur of frenetic activity around her. Motion and sound and barked orders and personnel scurrying to obey. Alarm bells. Claxons. And blood. So much blood. Belle, his beautiful Belle, her life force ebbing away in blossoming stains of warm crimson on cold, white hospital sheets, perfectly still and serene at the center of a maelstrom. She might have been sleeping if it weren’t for the tubes and wires and blinking lights.

“Father,” Gideon hissed, his eyes wide with panic, “do something! They’re going to lose her!”

Rumplestiltskin’s face crumpled, “What can I do? Any magic will have a price. A price we won’t understand until it’s paid!” He practically spat the words. With all his vast magic, he was still powerless to save the woman who was his whole world from her fate. His beloved Baelfire had paid the ultimate price the last time he had meddled in life and death matters. He could not allow the rest of his family to suffer the same fate. He considered if it was possible to give his own life for theirs, but he needed time to devise a spell. Time was exactly what they didn’t have.

He looked up, his eyes frantic. “A sleeping curse! I can put her under a sleeping curse!”

“Father, no!” Gideon caught him, hands fisted in Rumple’s shirt as he dove for the door to her room. “No. I know you could wake her, but we both know that won’t work here. It won’t stop the bleeding, it won’t help Mother or the baby! You know there must be a trade. A blood sacrifice.”

Father and son stared at each other for a long moment, Gideon still clutching fistfuls of his father’s lapels. They were holding each other up and grounding each other at the same time. The mask of pain on Gideon’s face suddenly melted into complete calm. A countenance of serenity Rumplestiltskin had never seen on his troubled son since his rescue from the Black Fairy, and it sent a ripple of fear coursing through his body.

“Son? Gideon?”

“It’s me.” His eyes went unfocused and he swayed in Rumple’s grip. “Mother and the baby must live, I will be the conduit. The sacrifice.”

“No!” Rumple dug his fingers into Gideon’s arms, dragging him back even as Gideon turned to look at the room where his mother and sibling lay.

“I can do this. I am magic. A child of True Love and a savior.” Gideon looked down at his father, a twisted smile on his lips. “This is my destiny.”

“Gideon, no,” Rumple whispered, clutching at his beautiful boy. “No, I’ll find a way. I can’t lose you, son. I love you!”

“I know, Papa, and I love you, too.” He looked down at his father with love in his eyes, but his voice broke on the words. “But as much as I’ve tried, we’ve tried, I can’t get over the things the Black Fairy did to me. The things she made me do.” He shook his head, his whole body trembling. Tears rolled down his cheeks, but his voice was stronger. “I don’t want to live with this pain anymore. It consumes me. I’m sorry, I know you and Mother really tried to help me move on.”

“I’ll turn you back, son. To a baby. I’ll do it.” Rumple begged, his voice rising in pitch. “And I’ll find a way to save them!”

“There’s no time,” Gideon answered. His voice was steady now, though tears still rolled down his cheeks. “I don’t blame you. Either of you. Tell Mother I love her.”

“Gideon, no. Please.” Rumplestiltskin sobbed, collapsing to hands and knees on the floor as Gideon broke free of his grasp, striding purposefully for his mother’s bedside. Magic shot from his fingertips, tendrils of energy pushing aside the doctors and nurses working on Belle and freezing them in place. Silence blanketed the room. He gazed down at her, ghastly pale but so utterly peaceful, unaware of the turmoil that swirled around her, her life’s blood slipping away with every ticking second.

Gideon took her small, delicate hand in his, and leaned down to press a kiss to her cool brow. “I love you, Mother,” he whispered. Light like molten gold poured from Gideon, surrounding them in a halo of light and magic.  

The crackle of electricity and the smell of ozone reached Rumple’s senses and he let out a howl of anguish that echoed through the silent, sterile hallway. He scrambled to his feet, determined to reach his son. His wife. His unborn child. His family. Everything slowed to a glacial pace as he struggled against Gideon’s stasis spell, their fates hanging in the balance, a knife edge that would determine just how much they would lose.

Rumplestiltskin watched in horror as his son’s life force poured into Belle, Gideon’s face contorted in deep concentration, their hands clasped together. Rumple sprang into action. He could not allow Gideon to do this. He placed his hands over theirs, his magic joining with Gideon’s. Purple energy cracked and spit, the snap and pop of lightning pushing back against the golden aura. Gideon’s eyes snapped to Rumple’s, and he shook his head, pushing back.

Rumplestiltskin redoubled his efforts, he would not allow his son to sacrifice himself. It was Rumple’s responsibility to protect his family, and he would do it, no matter the cost. He would force a way if he could not find it! He gripped Gideon’s hand, locking eyes and willing him to understand. His last act would be to save Belle and the baby and leave Gideon the infant he so wished to be. Belle would have two children to love, and he hoped she would tell them how much their Papa had loved them.

“Gideon. Let me help,” Rumple pleaded. “Let me in! Together we are stronger. Together we are more than our individual magic. I can help you.”

Gideon nodded, relaxing, allowing Rumplestiltskin’s magic to join with his own. The purple and gold coalesced into a swirling mass, Gideon’s eyes going wide in realization as he wrested control back from his father. He would not be stopped! The light surrounded him, flashing outward in a blinding spray of sparks. Embers drifting lazily to land on Rumplestiltskin as he collapsed against the bed with a wail of utter sorrow, slumping to the floor as activity once again returned to the room. Gideon was gone. He’d failed to save his son.

Success, it seemed was doomed to be forever beyond his grasp.

He clawed his way back up the bed to look at Belle. The doctors and hospital staff were standing around, unsure of what to do. He gazed down at what their son had bought them. Belle’s color flushed and pink, her breathing steady, the machines surrounding them beeped in the sedate pattern of normalcy, but her eyes remained closed. A fair storybook princess captive in her somnolent repose. A sob escaped him and he clutched her unconscious form to his breast.

The immediate danger had passed, but the fact remained that Belle was unconscious and still in labor. He was aware of their hands on him, trying to tear him away so they could continue to work on her. Rumplestiltskin pushed them back with inhuman strength.

“Wait,” he commanded.

Whale and the others fell back. His eyes darted from Gold to Belle to David Nolan and Emma Swan who were also at the periphery. “Gold, she’s still in labor. We’re going to need to perform a caesarean if she doesn’t wake up.”

“She’s only at twenty-eight weeks,” Rumple pointed out. “Wouldn’t it be better for the baby if she carried to term?”

“That’s not possible.”

“Perhaps it is.” Rumplestiltskin gestured with his right hand, and the scent of ozone once again filled the room as a small vial of milky liquid materialized in his upturned palm.

“What is that?” Whale asked, eyeing the bottle. Emma gasped, visibly pale, and David’s eyes flickered between her and Gold.

“Emma?” Rumple gave her a small smirk, inclining his head. “Care to enlighten them?”

Emma swallowed hard, looking at Belle. “That’s the pregnancy acceleration potion.” Her voice shook, hands thrust in her pockets. “I used it on Zelena when I was the Dark One.” Whale shook his head, but the objection died on his lips when Emma spoke again.

“I think we should let him use it.”

“We don’t know that it’s safe,” Whale insisted.

“It’s safe.” Rumple pinned him with a look. “I wouldn’t be suggesting it if it weren’t.”

“I know it’s safe, Gold,” Emma said, putting a hand on his arm, “but what if Belle doesn’t want it?”

Rumplestiltskin looked at his wife and knew the answer in his heart.

“Then we shall ask her. Our son gave his life to save her and the baby. She will want to do everything to make certain it was not in vain.” Rumplestiltskin leaned down, gently tucking a tendril of chestnut hair behind her ear. He closed his eyes and willed the magic to work as he pressed his lips to hers. There was no outward sign, no shockwave of light or air, but as Rumple pulled back, Belle’s eyelids fluttered open, her lips curving into a gentle smile. Too soon, realization struck her and her eyes flew wide, her hands reaching frantically for her stomach.

“Our baby!” Belle gasped, her eyes seeking Rumple’s. He shushed her, placing his hands over hers, holding them to her bulging bump.

“Shh. Shh. Sweetheart, it’s fine, the baby is fine,” Rumple crooned, gentling her panic.

“Oh, Rumple!” Belle sobbed and he sat on the edge of the bed to hold her. “I thought I was losing the baby.” She dug her fingertips into his arms, sobbing, when a wave of contractions hit her. “Oh, no. No. Not yet. It’s not time.”

Rumple helped her breathe, gently explaining their situation, leaving out Gideon’s sacrifice. He would tell her later, after she and the baby were safe and her grief would not hinder the birth, but Belle saw the hidden anguish in his eyes. Her mother’s instinct strong and intact.

“Where’s Gideon?”

“Belle.”

“Where is Gideon?” Her voice rose in pitch, her eyes searching the room, the hallway outside. Counting the people in the room. “Tell me!” She shrieked, tearing at the sheets as though she would climb out of bed to look for him herself.

“Belle, sweetheart, I tried to stop him, but he was too powerful. Too determined.” He held her down, his arms steel bands around her flailing form as she sobbed and wailed, his own face streaked with hot, salty tears. “I tried to save all three of you, but he was a saviour and the magic was too strong. Belle, I swear to you, I tried to sacrifice myself. I tried to do the right thing, but I failed.”

“He did try, Belle.” Emma offered when Belle’s great, heaving sobs were overcome by another round of contractions. “Gold...”

Rumple pulled himself together, handing Belle the potion as soon as he’d helped her through the contraction. “Belle, you must deliver now. The potion can bring the baby to term. You know it works and is safe, but I leave the choice up to you.”

Belle’s unseeing eyes stared at the potion in her hands for a long moment. She thrust it back at him, her eyes and voice dull. “Do it.”

Rumple nodded, squeezing her hand, pouring the dose into a cup of water that Emma handed to him. She grimaced, but drank it down in a gulp, meeting Rumple’s eyes. “For Gideon,” she whispered. Rumple cupped her cheek, her eyes bright, his stinging with more unshed tears. Tears that could come later, when they were alone. When they had time to grieve.

“For Gideon.”

The rest was a whirl of activity again, Whale and his team taking over while Rumple held Belle’s hand and assisted her through the labor. Whale insisted on an epidural, in case anything went amiss and an emergency c-section was required, but the magic had proven true. After long hours of labor, a beautiful baby girl was delivered, and after a brief moment, a weak, but blessed wailing filled the room.

The new parents watched as they quickly cleaned her up, the nurses and doctors talking quietly amongst themselves, measuring and weighing and examining.

“What’s wrong?” Belle asked, her voice wavering. She caught Rumple’s sleeve, tugging. “Something’s wrong. Why aren’t they bringing her to me?”

Whale looked up and smiled. “No, everything’s fine. Your potion possibly didn’t work as intended. She’s a very small, only four pounds six ounces, and her APGAR indicates she is a little premature. Developmentally, she seems to be around thirty-four weeks and her lungs are slightly affected, but it’s nothing to worry about. A couple of weeks in the NICU on the CPAP and she’ll be just fine.” 

Whale hesitated before speaking again, “There is something else, though.”

Belle started, squeezing Rumple’s fingers until he winced. “What is it?”

“You aren’t done, Mrs. Gold.” Whale cleaned up as the nurses whisked their baby girl to the NICU. Turning back to her, he lifted an eyebrow. “There’s another baby coming.”

“What! How?” Belle began, her eyes frantic, searching for Rumplestiltskin’s. His face was slack. His eyes bright.

“It can’t be…” he whispered, wonder and hope blossoming in his chest, his voice thick with emotion. “Could it possibly be? I tried to change the spell...”

“Oh, please…” Belle breathed, tugging him down until their foreheads touched. Every fiber of their beings focused on one, singular thought. “Please let it be him.”

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It was three weeks until they were allowed to take their babies home from the hospital. They’d practically lived there in the intervening time, spending as much time as possible holding and touching them. Both Belle and Rumple taking active roles in their feeding and care. Rumple surmised the potion had been split this time, taking both babies from 28 to 34 weeks gestation and giving them each a shorter NICU stay. By his magic or Gideons he wasn’t sure, but Belle didn’t care.

Belle was grateful. Grateful that she had taken not one child home from the hospital, as she had been expecting, but two. Two perfect, tiny, healthy babies. A tiny, perfect girl. And a tiny, perfect boy. The moment she had seen his face, she’d burst into fresh tears, collapsing in damp exhaustion into Rumple’s strong arms.

“Is it?” Rumple had asked haltingly. He hadn’t seen Gideon’s face the first time around, but she had. She knew every line, every wrinkle. She knew the shape of his mouth and the exact color of his eyes. She knew the pattern his hair made on his tiny head.

“Yes.” She hugged Rumple tight, their foreheads pressed together, their tears mingling. “It’s Gideon!”

And now they were home, sitting in the nursery, Rumple cuddling his daughter, while Belle nursed Gideon. There were two cribs, two rocking chairs, two glittering mobiles of delicate blown glass unicorns, and two parents learning to cope with two headstrong, magical babies.

Belle sighed, smiling at the picture Rumple made, cooing silly faces and voices at the swaddled baby in his arms. He looked up at her. “Ready to switch?” She nodded.

“It’s time to go to your mum, Cassidy,” he crooned, bringing her to Belle’s chair. It was awkward, but they’d been getting better at the mutual handoff, and soon Cassidy was nestled at Belle’s breast and Gideon was getting his supplemental bottle from his Papa.

That night, Belle awoke to find Rumplestiltskin padding the floor with a fussy Gideon while his sister slept peacefully on. He stood at the window, bathed in violet moonlight, his growing hair stuck out at odd angles. He was bare to the waist, crumpled pyjama pants below, Gideon held against his chest as he rocked him, singing a soft Scottish lullaby. Her heart swelled with love. How could she have ever doubted his love for his family for a single moment. This devoted and loving father. She had no doubt that his magic had helped focus Gideon’s sacrifice and send him back to the womb to be reborn. A second chance. A second chance she thanked Gideon for as well. Even though she’d suffered through his birth twice!

Gideon was soon asleep and she watched Rumple lay him back in his bassinet. His soft cooing finally ceasing. “You’re awake,” he murmured as he joined her beneath the covers. She snuggled into his side, angling her face for a kiss that he was happy to oblige.

“I was just watching you with Gideon and enjoying our happy ending,” Belle whispered.

Rumplestiltskin crooked a finger, lifting her chin to meet his eyes. “Oh, no, sweetheart. This is no happy ending.” His fingers caressed her cheek, warm and soft and reverent. His eyes were bright, shining with tears, the smile that played about his lips soft and genuine.“This is our happy beginning.”


End file.
